I Don't Want Justice, I Want What's Mine!

For some reason, I've started writing my sermons as manuscripts, and then making outlines out of them.This week (for Sunday, September 18), I'm trying something REALLLLLLLLY different. My sermon took the form of six one-person monologues. The text is the Parable of the Vineyard Workers, (Matthew 20.1-16)

Worker Who Was There All Day

(The person is on the phone, and waves to the congregation.)

Hey yeah, c’mon in. I’m on hold. Did you hear? Did you hear what happened today? I’m calling the Labor Relations Board. About the vineyard and how unjust that man is?

The landowner that’s who. You DID hear what happened?

I get up early, like I always do, and go down to the marketplace to wait for the managers to come and hire people. The owner shows up … yeah, the big guy. He picks me and a bunch of other guys. We’re out there by 6 am, and we are working all day. And you know how hot it was out there today.

Hold on, sorry, still on hold.  So every few hours some more guys keep coming into the vineyard, and we go a lot of stuff done. So it’s the end of the day and the owner tells his manager to pay the new guys first. So these guys who were only there for an hour come back celebrating ‘cause they got paid a denarii. Yeah, for an hour’s work! So, me and the guys who’ve been there all day are getting excited.

Why? Well, if they got a denarii for an hour, we should get a handful of denarii for being out there all day.

What did he say when he hired us? He said we’d get the usual daily wage. He told some others he would make it right. Plus, I’ve been there before. I go there all the time. I’m a faithful worker. So the manager is paying people in the opposite order of when they came, and we hear the guys who came later in the morning grumbling.

Hold on. Hello? Still on hold. So I get up there with the guys and we get a denarii. A denarii!

Yeah, that’s what we normally get for working all day, but that’s what the guys who were only there an hour got. So I yell over to the owner, “Hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" He said he decided to give the same to everyone, first or last. Can you believe that?

Yeah, we agreed to the regular wage, but the others got the same amount for less work. That’s not fair! I’m gonna turn him in to the Labor Board.

You sound like him; he said he can pay what he wants. He asked if I was jealous because he was generous.

What do you mean, “Are you jealous?” Hey … Hold on. Hello, hello!! “Calls will be answered in the order of who has the most need”?

(The first character is based upon one of the early workers from the parable.)

Upset High Perks Traveler

(The character is ringing a bell you would find at a hotel/resort front desk)

Hello. HELLO!! Are you in charge here? Can you fix this? Can. You. Fix. This?

Fix what? Do you know who I am? Do. You. Know. Who. I. Am?

Am I a preferred member? Hello! I’m so important I don’t need a card. You KNOW who I am.

What is the problem? Are you serious? You don’t know what is going on?

There are people who have NEVER been here before. NEVER. They don’t know where anything is. And they are getting the same free breakfast buffet I always get.

I am a loyal member. I ONLY come here. I ALWAYS come here. And they get the same things I get.

I couldn’t get a putt-putt tee time because THEY already took them all.

I thought membership got you rewards.

What do you mean, membership is its own reward?

Just? JUST? You are saying treating everyone the same is just? I don’t care about justice. It’s not fair! I want to be treated better!

If this is the way I’m going to be treated, I don’t know if I want to be here.

Happy Worker

(Speaks to his wife and is carrying bags of groceries)

Hello, honey? Honey, I’m HOOOOOOOMMMMMEE! How did the day go? Let me tell you how today went? You won’t believe it.

I got up early, like I always do, and went down to the marketplace to wait for the managers to come and hire people. The owner shows up … yeah, the big guy. He picked a bunch of guys. I wasn’t one of them.

How did I get the groceries? I’ll tell you. So, you know a lot of those guys don’t like me. Yeah, well, when the owner came, they rushed up front and I got forced to the back when came time to be hired. So he took a crew and left.

But he came back a few other times. I missed him a couple of times because I went to some shops to see if they had any work. And once, I heard some of the guys he took saying bad things about me. You know, I’m always the last one picked, ever since dodge ball in school.

But today, it’s around 5 o’clock, and I’m trying to figure out where to get some food for you and the kids, and the owner comes back.

He asked why we were standing there. I told him no one hired us. Then he told us to go into his vineyard. I figured we’d get paid at least enough of some food.

An hour later, they call us in to get paid. I’m wondering how much we’ll get, and the manager pays us first. And we get a denarii. A whole denarii!! I know. I couldn’t believe it either!

I could not believe how generous the landowner was. So I went to the market and now we have bread for the day. Now we can feed our family.

The owner was willing to pay us for following him. He was so generous. He showed so much grace. It was amazing.

 (Obviously based on one of the 5 o'clock workers)

Detective Canaan - Ninevah CSI

(Yes, this is based on the Miami CSI character)

I’m Detective Canaan, Ninevah CSI. I’m investigating the disappearance of the preacher and prophet Jonah. We’re not sure what happened to him. Some think he ran off. Some think he may have committed suicide – he said he wanted to die. Don’t know what happened. <Puts on glasses> It’s as if he was swallowed up.

Have you seen him? You saw him sitting under the bush? It looks like something ate it, maybe a worm. We’ll take some samples. You say he was angry? Angry that the bush was destroyed. AND he was angry that all of Ninevah wasn’t destroyed? He was upset that God didn’t do what he wanted? <Puts on glasses> So, it appears he wanted to be the big fish.

So, he wanted us destroyed, huh? I realize that Ninevah is the capital of Israel’s biggest enemy, but we are people too. You heard him preach? He said we were evil. But we are trying to do better. We’re repenting. We’re trying.

You say that wasn’t good enough for him? He came out here and pouted. He wanted to see God smite us, destroy us, huh?

Jonah never forgave us, but God did. He couldn’t or wouldn’t let go.

You say he was so upset with God he would rather die than see us forgiven. <Puts on glasses> I guess he didn’t want God to choose other people.

Upset Person in Heaven

(A man, wearing a halo, stalking St. Peter in Heaven)

Excuse me, are you Peter? St. Peter?

Good. Glad to meet you. Hey, are you in charge here?

Well, yeah. I realize … you know … but you’re in charge of who gets in, right? Peter, Simon Peter, right? Yeah, what’s going on? How did some of these people get in here?

What do I mean? C’mon. Like … well, him and her and … them?

How in the … world did you let them in?

This is heaven. This is our eternal reward. And you let in these … sinners?

Yeah, I know about forgiveness. But what about all these Johnny-come-latelies? I can’t believe you let them in, but then you treat them the same as me.

What do I mean? I mean, come on. I am a Christian through and through. A cradle to grave Christian. Always in church. I even sat up FRONT.

You know I was a good giver. I even gave enough for those special projects.

Well, yeah, I made sure my name was listed.  But I gave a lot, a lot more than THOSE people.

Wait. Don’t say that I’m not understanding; that I’m not tolerant. I’ve always been accepting of everyone, even those people. I was welcoming. I nodded at them. I tolerated them.

I was willing to do different things. We did some new things. But I didn’t want them to change the way we’ve always done things at my church.

Not my church? Oh, yeah.

But I’m a lifelong faithful follower. And these people who lived bad lives, these imperfect people, get treated the same as I do?

What do you mean that salvation is its own reward?

Preacher

(Goes back into the pulpit -- I almost never preach from the pulpit.)

To sum up this week’s lessons,

We get upset because we think someone is getting more than they deserve. If someone gets the same discount we do, and they don’t have the coupon we clipped, or the membership card we have, we are angry.

We are upset because the salvation, the forgiveness, the grace and mercy we covet, that we feel we earned, is being given to those who don’t deserve it.

We are upset because we see God pouring out mercy to those we feel are unworthy, and fail to notice that our cup is overflowing.

We forget, we have not earned a single thing in the eyes of God, except for God’s righteous anger and condemnation.

Salvation, forgiveness, grace & mercy are gifts given freely and generously by God. Not because of who we are; but because of whose we are.

We covet God’s power to forgive and not forgive. We think we should decide who is in and who is out of God’s kingdom, because we know all about others and their wicked ways. We should draw the line of who is in, and who is out.

But when we draw that line, we find ourselves on the out side, and Jesus is with those on the other side. We forget about our faults.

Or we know our own faults & failures ALL too well. We draw the line with us on the outside, never realizing Jesus is on that side, our side.

Jesus was killed for preaching this message.

We are forgiven not because we earned it, but because Christ died for us.

Good and right living is its own reward.

Serving others is its own reward.

Forgiving and forgiveness is its own reward.

We focus on what we have to do to be saved. Our focus should be on the fact that we ARE saved, so what are we going to do?

The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. The landowner is calling you into the vineyard. Invite some friends. There is a lot of work to do.

Remember, grace isn’t earned; it is given. A gift from God. And it is amazing.

The Hymn of the Day is Amazing Grace.