I'm Scared

This is Ananias' final article for the April ONE in Christ newsletter. 

 

I know that in last month’s article, I said I knew that My Big Guy and I were moving, but I wasn’t sure of what that meant. My Big Guy was already starting to fill up boxes, and he is still doing that.

But, can I tell you a secret?

I’m afraid of boxes.

When I was a puppy, My Big Guy left the house while he was doing laundry. I went to check on it for him, and a basket that he left on top of one of the machines fell on me and trapped me. I was scared. When he got home, he rescued me, but ever since then I’ve been afraid I would get trapped again. All of these empty boxes scare me.

I’m trying to understand what this Oklahoma thing is that we are going to. My Big Guy has told me about the city and the churches he will serve, but I’m just not understanding what he is talking about.

It reminds me about the Bible stories that he has been reading to me. In John’s Gospel, Jesus has a LONG speech after his last supper with his disciples. Jesus starts talking at the end of chapter 13 and keeps going all of the way through chapter 16. And you thought My Big Guy could talk.

Early on in his talk, Jesus says he is going away to prepare a way for his followers, and Thomas says they don’t know where Jesus is going (14:5). After all that they saw and heard from Jesus, they still didn’t understand. When Jesus was taken away, they all ran away and hid. Only one disciple went to the crucifixion. They were scared.

That’s how I feel.

I know My Big Guy is excited about the new things and opportunities he will have. I’m excited about these drive thru restaurants he’s told me about. The couple we have here give treats to good dogs like me, so I hope they do that down there too.

But I’m scared about living somewhere else. My Big Guy adopted me when I was a puppy. I remember my mom and dad, but only really remember living here. He’s tried to explain that we may be living in an apartment, and that I can’t bark at every noise outside, but I don’t get what that means.

Just like the disciples didn’t understand Jesus and what he meant until he returned from the grave, I don’t think I’ll understand what is going to happen until I get there and see it face to face.

My Big Guy can tell that I’m nervous, and I can tell he is nervous about this too. He is trying to do a lot of things at the same time. He tries to make me calm down, and I try to make him relax too. He feels better if I let him rub my belly and scratch behind my ears. I enjoy it too, but I let him do it because it calms him down.

My Big Guy told me that he learned a lot from his time here, but that he thinks he needs to go and work with other people, and that all of you need to hear from a different pastor. I didn’t understand what he meant, and just sat looking at him. He explained it to me by pointing out that I play and chew on different toys. Sometimes I want to chew on the squirrel, but other times the rubber wrench is my favorite. Sometimes, I want something different.

He has told me about some of the really nice things you all have said. It really means a lot to him. He showed me some of the treats from his going away party. I really liked the cupcakes that looked like me. They were very pretty.

I don’t know if I will get to see any of you again. I don’t know if we will get back up here. It may not be until we all get to heaven that I can come over and let you pet me. When I get there, I know I won’t have anything to be afraid of.

Until then, thanks for everything. I’m going to try to not be scared about this change. You all should try to not be afraid of the change for you. There will be a new pastor for you, and she or he will get there soon. They may not be My Big Guy, but they will be awesome in their own way.

Can I tell you another secret?

One thing I’m afraid of is that I may not be able to watch Packer games in Wisconsin. But don’t tell My Big Guy. It would break his heart.

But I was born in Wisconsin!

Love and Licks, Ananias